greenxyzcannonball: (Default)
What I do:
designer; seamstress and photographer; scribe/co-author/editor; phone jockey; retail flunky; author; knitter; bad-ass baker; stuntman wannabe.

I kind of feel the need to up my bad-ass quotient, but I think I just need to dial down the phone jockey/retail flunky and up the rest.
My goal in life is to be a little bamf, a little sexy, and a lot of fun. I'm just workin' on it.;)
greenxyzcannonball: (Default)
Lots of thinking lately. Read more... )
greenxyzcannonball: (depression)
Sometimes it's really hard not to be depressed by my single-ness when it seems like everyone I knew from school - with few exceptions - is getting married or is engaged or is having a kid. Read more... )
greenxyzcannonball: (bitch slap)
Today was a really long day at work. One call in particular is stuck in my mind - someone was calling to find out about the meetings but wouldn't give hardly any information. It's pretty much impossible to set up a meeting with only a name and a city and state. Got told do it anyway and make something up. What's the point of that? Especially when I had info for someone under the same name and the caller wouldn't give me any info to verify?!
If I wasn't getting paid $11 an hour I would seriously be hunting a new job. I might have to anyway. Felt like I was going to puke almost the whole day and I can tell my blood pressure is way high, even right now and it's been an hour since I got off. Now I understand how people can lose weight when they're stressed. Wish I could just have an IV drip instead of having to eat. It seems so pointless to cook anything to have to scarf it down in fifteen minutes only to want to get rid of it less than an hour later. I feel like I'm not really getting anything out of what I'm eating anyway.
Anyone have any ideas? I'm going to start looking for a different job I think...but in the meantime, ways to destress or not get stressed in the first place would be great. or tips for job hunting.
greenxyzcannonball: (love hate)
Shopping trip win: Mallowcreme pumpkins and TWO wallace and grommitt videos at under $5 a piece!

Read more... )
greenxyzcannonball: (Default)
So I did get a chance to meet with my friend (I was surprised I got a response, much less agreement to a meeting). Lately he's been focused on the non-profit he helped start. The business makes - or rather, will be making- high end ties out of sari fabrics. I think it's a great idea; my friend was asking about sewing and we were bouncing ideas off each other. I enjoyed that so much. I wish I could do something like that all the time - definitely not looking forward to Monday and being on the accursed phones.

I wish I had all my fabric here so I could work on sewing and whatnot - i hate the fact that my place is still topsy-turvy. I wouldn't give up the time I spent with my friends yesterday for anything though. Still a bit peeved that the three simple things I keep asking to be fixed still aren't fixed. Seriously, how long would it take someone to come over with the drain fittings and put them in, pop a cover on the hole in my closet and put a track in for the kitchen drawer? like maybe 30-45 minutes tops for all three? Grr. My old apartment was a LOT quicker about getting to repairs.
greenxyzcannonball: (Default)
I was reading a friend's blog and thinking that I should really get in touch with him, since I haven't seen him in ages and I still have a book I borrowed. Then I started thinking about what knitting project I was going to bring (probably Ren's sweater). Why, depending on how late he was, that could be up to an hour of knitting time!
I realized I have forgotten how to be bored. Seriously - I don't like to waste time, and right now I have so much going on it's almost impossible for me to be bored. Even if I'm immobile, I'm usually thinking about one of 10,000 different things, so I'm not bored. If I'm sitting in one place I'm usually reading, knitting, thinking up outlandish ideas for doll clothes or cosplays, sleeping, trying to figure out where on earth I could have left [insert item here], or eating. Or lately, listening to verbiage about the stuff I'm supposed to sell. I'm sure I've forgotten something in there.
Anyway I think the last time I was bored was in high school, tops. I think a lot of kids' mantra of "I'm booooored" comes from not knowing how to do what they want to do. I mean, everyone knows some old codger who starts off every conversation with "Back in my day, no kid ever..."
Maybe there's something to it. Used to be that kids were taught to be more self-sufficient; if you were older you took care of your younger siblings and by the age of twelve could cook something passable for a meal and stitch your own little tears. Now there's kids that are barely trusted to operate a can opener at the age of twelve for fear they'll cut themselves.
In some respects, yes the world is a more dangerous place, but on the other hand I feel like children (myself included, I refuse to be a "grown-up") are coddled way beyond what is necessary. Honestly as klutzy and forgetful as I am, I never caught the house on fire or cut myself so badly that a bandaid couldn't take care of it. I'm not a good cook, and I'm definitely not handy but I'm not afraid to learn.
Knowing how to do things - and I mean really do them, to have some level of competence that things turn out reasonably close to what you envisioned or that are functional - is empowering. Knowing how to sew or cook or do woodworking or even reading, that act of creation is powerful. I think this power gap is what leads kids to say they're bored. No one likes to do something they can't do well, and often kids aren't able to do certain things when they are younger (after about age 8 though, most kids are reasonably dexterous).
When I learned how to sew and knit, it was empowering. I could go into a fabric store and come out with the raw materials for a thing no one had seen before, if I wanted. Even better I learned how to make it fit. There is a world of difference between "sort of fits" and "Fits". (My next project is to learn how to make custom patterns via draping - if I can just find a book or someone to show me, my first attempt was a waste of muslin). I firmly believe we are never too old to learn - it just takes a little longer sometimes.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some knitting to do.
greenxyzcannonball: (ren smile)
So, as anyone who knows me probably knows, I have a mad thing for the character of Tsuruga Ren from Skip Beat! and I'm trying to find a doll that looks like him. I think I've found the doll that's practically perfect.

Except for one thing.
the Chin.
I can't stand the cleft chin on this doll. If it weren't otherwise perfect for this particular character, I'd find it kind of cool. as it is, I'm wondering what I should do.
Should I:
a) get the doll and live with it and cringe when I see his chin?
b) get the doll and have someone mod his chin to look more pointy and less cleft?
c) wait and try to find a different doll (or pray to all that's holy that IH decides to release a doll that looks just like this one with a pointy chin)?

I'm inclined to a or b personally, just because he's really close to ideal, except for his chin. He needs the Chase chin (which is long and pointy) on the face which has the right brows and all.
Opinions? (and remember, the hair and eye color can be changed! I'm asking about the face)
greenxyzcannonball: (Default)
I'm changing.
Or rather, I'm trying to change. First step's the hardest, they always say, whoever "they" are anyway.
I'm starting to think that maybe just maybe I can actually use the talents I have to make a life for myself. Not just a living - that I can pay my bills and have reasonable means - but a life, a way of fueling my creative drive and making it work for me. It's such a delicious picture. I met a lady at work a few days ago who gave me the swift kick I needed to readjust my perceptions. I'm really glad I had time to talk to her, because I was tempted to blow her off when she started asking about bedspreads. She gave me some good ideas and encouraged me to work at what I love.
Retail is not my life. It's a job and that's it. I like helping customers when they're grateful or amusing; when they're crabby or exacting I usually do what I feel is the bare minimum. My coworkers are generally decent people but I hate the way some of them goldbrick. It makes me feel like I have to work harder to compensate. Today we had someone subbing for a call-out and she complained a lot. She also wanted to talk to me almost the whole shift. I like a little chit-chat but I recognize the fact that I'm there to serve first, socialize later.
On the whole, minor stuff, but I can see why the other quads have drama. Frankly my section works pretty well together; the managers are generally understanding and everyone know their limits. Even the managers from the other sections are usually ok (some are awesome). There's one "manager" who I dislike though. She's not a section manager and usually does training which means she has very little time on the floor. When on the floor she has the facial expression of someone who just stepped in dog doo. You are the dog doo. She also likes to treat associates like they have the mental capacity of dog offal as well. This does not go unnoticed. Today she graced us with her presence to grunt that we should find something to do. I'm off the clock and just finished rehashing the day to my coworker who's just come on. I give her a one-finger salute behind a folded curtain as she walks off. A coworker from another area comes by and joins me. Ah, sometimes the camaraderie is wonderful.
I digress. To wit, I think that it may be possible for me to start a business wherein I take commission and sew and create the majority of my time. I may want to get a part-time job to make ends meet for the first while, but I think that will be as much to get me out of the house as to earn money. I don't know yet. I know what I'd like to do and I know I'd like to have a partnership to flesh out the areas that I am not skilled at, but there are other things that would have to happen to make that a reality and I honestly don't know if that would happen or when.
Que sera, sera.
greenxyzcannonball: (scared)
I'm tired of having nightmares about customer returns and exchanges. I've been trying to put my name out there but I've been focusing on Jax, primarily. I think what I should do is figure out where I would want to live and then find a job there. There's a lot of places I like the sound of; basically I'm using my answers to this situation as a gauge: if someone said "I'll give you a job anywhere you want to work" where would you go?
Thus far:
Virginia (DC or Historical Triangle)
Japan (kansai/northwest)

I still want to do something with historical fashion/textiles. No, I don't know how this would get me a job. The pursuit would make me happy though; I love fabric and handling it, studying it would be awesome. Even better would be a study with practical applications, such as reclaiming an old way of weaving/knitting. For instance, in the victorian era, thin but sturdy silks were made. Now, most silk is heavy and slubby; if it's thin it's not durable, from what i've heard. What did the victorians do that made their silk thin and durable? (Slub-free is another...frankly if you can afford silk you can damn well afford it without slubs, but I digress)
Or from an economic stand point: cotton. In the late middle ages-renaissance, cotton was rare (came from india) and reserved for the rich. For a while in the colonial era cotton sustained a lot of the "triangle trade" between the US, the UK and various African ports. Now it's the cheap every-man fabric. How'd we get here, from there?
or design: in Japan the kimono was unisex garb prior to the Meiji revolution (yes, hakama were worn by minor nobility upward, but don't quibble). In kimono, it was the design on the kimono that indicated your rank. Shibori, a method of tie-dye, was forbidden to commoners at on one if not several occasions. So commoners copied it. When bright colors were forbidden, people turned to decorating the linings. Kimono construction now is the same as it's been for centuries, more or less. The patterns in vogue have changed and continue to do so. Why and how? What influences are seen in modern kimono and kimono of the past?

Ok, now that i've given three possible theses, I do need to figure out if I want first location or vocation. Do I go for a great place or do I try to find a course of study? I think I'm really more of an academic than I used to think.
greenxyzcannonball: (confused)
Those of you who know me know I'm really not a retail sort of girl. Frankly, I hate it. It's getting harder not to snap at customers who are being painfully dense and difficult to work with. I mean, work is work and there's always going to be difficult people to work with but it's a lot easier if the person you snap at is someone you can apologize to later and who understands you or your circumstances. In retail the difficult people (mostly) see you for maybe five minutes (thirty, if they're real pains). They don't care that you feel sick or that your boyfriend picked a fight with you just as you left for work. They want to hold on to as much of their money as possible in exchange for as much as they can get and they all want you to do it with a smile on your face. All five thousand of them.
Anyway, that bit of ranting is just to say I'm keeping eyes and ears open for a new job. I'd probably be happiest as a researcher/lab rat particularly in archaeology but also libraries or museums. If you know anyone who might want a quick-witted college grad, pass me their info please!
I've been looking online and I feel pretty fruitless. I think I'm looking in the wrong places. for now, I shall retire and possibly add a row to the socks I'm working on.
greenxyzcannonball: (depression)
My last post has convinced the universe to laugh at me, I'm sure. New Years sucked in a way so hard it doesn't really bear mentioning. I'm scared and angry and sad all rolled into one. It's not something I didn't know was coming, it's just that the doom has coalesced into a more tangible form.
greenxyzcannonball: (kyoko natsu)
So, frankly, my life hasn't really been my own lately. That's mostly why I haven't posted, and the rest of it is for a while I simply forgot I even had a blog. Work has kept me very busy and the relationship I have in my life takes up a lot of the rest of my time. I don't really like it and I feel like i'm constantly treading water.

A favorite blogger of mine has announced that they are taking a break to be with their family during a tough time for all of them. I was reading the comments, trying to think of something I could write, when I remembered: this too shall pass.
One of the few bible verses that I like and actually find useful is Ecclesiastes chapter 3. "To every thing there is a season and a purpose."
First it reminds me that this, whatever this is, is a transient state. It is not permanent. Whatever is going on right now will not be going on (at least in the same way) in the future.

Also, I'm reminded that yes, this will pass, but it may not go the way I want or expect it to. Can I try my best to influence whatever's happening? Yes. Can I arrange everything just how I want it? No. I have to live with what comes my way.

Third, all things pass - bad and good. So if I'm in a good spot, I hope I enjoy it as much as I can since it won't come this way again. If I'm in a bad spot, well, even in darkness there may be some light, and if not at least I don't have to worry about one of those light sensitive headaches. Sooner or later that will move on too, and maybe I'll be a little better, a little wiser than I was before I went there.

Fourth, there is a purpose to all things - including me, which most days seems like a frankly ludicrous statement. Maybe I don't know why I had a day that sucked. Maybe I learned something (like pack a more filling lunch!). Maybe it was just that my coworkers were nice and let me go get food so I wouldn't be sullen and hungry. Maybe I just learned more about how my body works.

Fifth, there is a time to do everything, even the things you really don't want to do. A time to create and a time to destroy, a time to greet and a time to bid farewell. Almost every action in Ecclesiastes 3 is paired with its opposite, sort of like the (first?) law of thermodynamics: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Neither statement says that the opposite reaction is immediate. My belief that you get back what you put out kind of fits with this; if you direct negative energy, you receive negative energy. If you direct positive you'll gain positive. Maybe not right away, maybe not even nearby, but sooner or later it comes back to you. Those thousand little actions we do - opening a door for a stranger, calling a friend when they need to talk - I think these accumulate somehow, and we get them back. Maybe you get the name of a person to ask for a job, or maybe you hear about a resource that has an answer to your problems, but somehow that energy returns. That's a lot of why I try to be ethical in my dealings with other people (and if retail isn't a challenge to ethics I don't know WHAT is).

It's a passage that is both comforting and upsetting, which I think is why it's one of my favorites.
greenxyzcannonball: (squee)
My Iris has arrived, finally! I'll try to post a pic later but I'm much too tired (and a teensy bit intoxicated still) to do it right now.
No name yet, but I'll let you know.
greenxyzcannonball: (ren smile)
I found another sculpt that looks like he *might* be Tsuruga Ren too... Looking at the face shape only who looks most like Ren? Dolls #1 & #2, see previous post


He's an Iplehouse Barron, 63cm tall.

Since I can change the hair and the faceup/makeup, what I'm concerned with is the shape of the face. (Ren seems to have eyes that aren't hooded, full lips, a long slender nose, a pointy-ish chin and a not-terribly-strong jawline. He's a 20 year old part-American-part-Japanese fashion model and actor.)

So, IH Akando, LW Koji, or IH Barron?
greenxyzcannonball: (bitch slap)
so I went out to dinner with one of the guys from one of my jobs and it went fairly well I thought, although I wasn't sure if it was a date or just dinner. I kind of remembered that he had a girlfriend who was now living in Tally, but from what I remembered (or more likely *wanted* to remember) that they were off. Apparently not, judging from pictures on Facebook.
Damn, I hate it when I'm stupid like this. I should've known better. I don't need a guy, I don't really want one, so why did I start daydreaming about pursuing things with this guy? How careless! Besides, it's been a major distraction with knitting and getting sleep and watching anime.
Also this makes things a lot simpler on my by enabling me to return to disliking the vast majority of people and assuming that they are out to be self-centered and inconsiderate. It's to be hoped that by approaching human relations this way, I won't be so easily disappointed. After all if I expect them to lie, cheat, steal and generally behave appallingly, I won't be surprised when they do. Because they will; they're human.

In other news I'm still waiting for the doll to show up. I've no name for her yet, as I intend to let her choose her name when she arrives.
greenxyzcannonball: (squee)
I ordered my Iplehouse Iris on 4 september 2009. I then found out that the company is coming off a holiday period and the estimated wait time is about 30-40 days.

I'm going to fidget myself to death.


Aug. 19th, 2009 12:19 pm
greenxyzcannonball: (ren smile)
So as anyone who knows me is aware of, I have a massive crush on Tsuruga Ren from SkipBeat.
anyway I was looking at some dolls and I'm trying to find one that looks like him. I'm more a fan of "lovestruck""sweet" Ren than the darker side.

Here's my 2 choices thus far:
Akando by Iplehouse. 70cm tall, which would make him seem more like the 6' + model that he portrays.

Koji by LeekeWorld. 60cm tall.

Input please!
EDIT: sorry, what I'm looking for is the right face, since I can change the hair easily...
greenxyzcannonball: (kyoko natsu)
Man work is tough. Not the fetching-and-carrying, just the constant being nice to hundreds of different people. I now have a syrupy work voice which scares me a little. It sounds like my cop voice.
Being on my feet all day is good though because I'm constantly moving and therefore burning calories. Hopefully by the end of the week I'll be back to where I was before the game night potato chips. >_<

I'm getting closer to being able to afford my doll! I decided on the IH Iris after seeing someone's IH Sylvia which is the same size. I really like the Akando they have although he's 70cm - 28" tall! I'm also falling for LeekeWorld's Koji; he has such an expressive face! I'd like to get both but I don't want one of the guys to be a third wheel. Leeke Koi would be quickest to save up for at only 550 plus shipping from denver which is a lot cheaper than akando's 700 + shipping. Although if Penneys works me insanely during the holiday season like I think they will I may be able to get one boy by christmas too.
I'm hoping to get my iris by halloween, it's one of my favorite holidays. Also I have oral surgery to look forward to in the future so I'd like something to distract me. While I've made the deal with myself that I am not allowed to put more than $20 a paycheck in my doll fund, I'm hoping to sell some things and that money *is* going straight to the doll fund!
I've started working on a really pretty dusty rose-colored dress. So tiny though - size 2 needles and sock yarn!


greenxyzcannonball: (Default)

September 2012

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