greenxyzcannonball | (no subject) (Reply)

yeah so it's official now. I suck at life. I need a 3.0 to get the money from national merit and bright futures. my gpa is now 2.88 due to the fact I fucking failed calculus. Because, of course, I blew it on the exam. I did worse than almost any other exam I'd taken this semester despite studying almost every day since April 27. Hoorah! I suck! I blow giant monkey chunks! See, it's not math anxiety, I was almost perfectly calm the whole time- I just really suck. oh why oh why don't I take this lovely shiny razor blade and cut a nice vertical line up the inside of both forearms? because I'm a fucking loser, that's why. And a big fat fucking coward. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll get in a horrific car accident and die. I don't want to drive tomorrow because I'm pretty sure I'd try to drive off a bridge or into a pole or something. I'd like to care but the truth is I'm too fucking stupid to accomplish that, or anything else. Maybe I should go to the ghetto and start calling random black people "nigger" and see how long it takes before someone decides to pop a cap in me. or maybe I could just beat my head against a wall until I black out. either way, fun times I'm sure.