Things I wish I could say at my Job
11 Apr 2009 02:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenxyzcannonballDear Residents,
Welcome to the University residence halls. We hope you will enjoy your stay. Please allow me to address a few issues that will help you have a happier living environment.
1. Regarding Lockouts:
I cannot give you the keys without seeing YOUR ID. Not your roommate's ID, or your friend's ID. I also cannot give you keys to your friend's room for "just a minute" or "because they just got out of the shower" even if you ask me to accompany you. I cannot leave the desk, and for all I know this person is your enemy and you want nothing more than to make their life miserable. So bring your ID and I will gladly pass over your loaner keys.
If you do not have your ID I have to call the RA on call. Sorry for the inconvenience of making you wait until he or she gets down to the desk, but you should have kept up with your keys. This is why all of your welcome materials say not to give your keys to a friend; they tend to lose your keys.
2. Packages:
Please just have your ID out. I probably will not know your name or your face, so please do not expect me to be able to know what building and floor you live in. Telling me will expedite the process and you can get your package quicker that way. You must have an ID. Please do not wait more than two days to pick up your package. If Housing stuck to their policies, packages would be shipped back after 7 days. I have seen many residents come very close to missing out on Mom's care package because of this.
3. Misdirected / returned mail:
If it is the beginning of the semester and you receive mail for another person with your address on it, please just put it in the "misdirected mail" slot. You do not need to bring it into the front desk. This may continue for a month or so, as it generally takes about 6-8 weeks (read 2-3 months) for companies to process new addresses. If it is your mail and you simply do not want it, please just recycle it (if you can) or trash it. Putting these items in misdirected mail usually means that you will see them again. It also means that those items have to be processed, have new labels ordered and applied, and re-sorted back into your box. Please save us all the trouble and throw unwanted mail away. Also if you do not want a deluge of junk mail, do not put your address on things like contest applications. Those addresses are sold.
4. HAWK requests:
This is the Maintenance request system. Learn how to fill these out. They are not hard. If it is an emergency - as in the toilet is overflowing and will not stop or there is some immediate pressing danger or hazard - then come down to the desk and I can call emergency maintenance. If you want to bunk your beds, get online and request it yourself. Be proactive.
5. Vending / Laundry Machines:
Come to the front desk and I will take your information. You will get your money back when the vending machine guys come and take the money and count the items. When there is more money than products sold, they understand and will turn the money over to the senior clerk. This is usually about two weeks after you tell me that the machine ate your dollar. Believe it or not, I do not carry cash. I cannot and will not pay you out of my pocket, especially if you are not a resident. If you are not a resident I will ask for some way to contact you. Please do not look at me like I do not know what I am doing. I DO NOT HAVE MONEY FOR YOU. Also if I give you my money, that means I will not have money for things I need. Be patient and generally you will be repaid (unless you are a student employee in which case kiss that money goodbye, just like any other vending machine).
6. IDs:
You will need your ID for most things in the dorm: packages, loaner keys, dolley and vacuum rentals, et cetera. Keep up with it. I do not care that you left it in your friend's car or on your dresser. If I do not see your ID physically in your hands, I cannot do much for you. Please do not whine about this; it is not my policy. If anyone says anything about this policy of the university being like Hitler's forcing the Jews to wear a star on their garments, it is quite likely I will jump over the desk and may have to be physically restrained from decapitating you and defecating down your exposed throat and trachea. Additionally you would have just lost the argument due to a major fallacy.
7. Cell phone usage and tvs:
Please refrain from starting a conversation on your phone while I am trying to assist you. It is rude to me and the other person because your attention is divided. Although it is against university policy I am considering ignoring anyone who treats me in such fashion until they put their infernal communication device down.
Also if you come to the desk to watch the television, please do not turn the volume up to blaring levels. If you cannot hear a door open and close behind you, it is probably too loud and damaging my hearing. Please realize that although I do not care if you wish to jeopardize your ability to hear, I cannot move away from the tv and in many cases cannot leave the desk to turn it down. Please turn off the tv when you are finished watching your program, or at least ask if you may leave it on.
8. Addendums
I am a student like you will be. I often work graveyard shifts and sometimes do not sleep for 24 hours. Please try to be polite and patient and I will do the same. Remember that I do have your spare keys, your packages, and other such items you may need or want; it behooves you to treat me nicely. Also the senior clerks, who are often in similar positions, can make your life go very smoothly or very poorly. Baked goods help in garnering a good relationship.
Try to behave in a civilized fashion and realize that you are not the center of anyone's universe here, but merely one of about 500-2000 students in this dorm, give or take a few.
Welcome to On-Campus Housing!
Signed,
One of the Desk assistants
(who is here at 3:30 am, because all the desks are required to be staffed 24 hours, 7 days a week)
Welcome to the University residence halls. We hope you will enjoy your stay. Please allow me to address a few issues that will help you have a happier living environment.
1. Regarding Lockouts:
I cannot give you the keys without seeing YOUR ID. Not your roommate's ID, or your friend's ID. I also cannot give you keys to your friend's room for "just a minute" or "because they just got out of the shower" even if you ask me to accompany you. I cannot leave the desk, and for all I know this person is your enemy and you want nothing more than to make their life miserable. So bring your ID and I will gladly pass over your loaner keys.
If you do not have your ID I have to call the RA on call. Sorry for the inconvenience of making you wait until he or she gets down to the desk, but you should have kept up with your keys. This is why all of your welcome materials say not to give your keys to a friend; they tend to lose your keys.
2. Packages:
Please just have your ID out. I probably will not know your name or your face, so please do not expect me to be able to know what building and floor you live in. Telling me will expedite the process and you can get your package quicker that way. You must have an ID. Please do not wait more than two days to pick up your package. If Housing stuck to their policies, packages would be shipped back after 7 days. I have seen many residents come very close to missing out on Mom's care package because of this.
3. Misdirected / returned mail:
If it is the beginning of the semester and you receive mail for another person with your address on it, please just put it in the "misdirected mail" slot. You do not need to bring it into the front desk. This may continue for a month or so, as it generally takes about 6-8 weeks (read 2-3 months) for companies to process new addresses. If it is your mail and you simply do not want it, please just recycle it (if you can) or trash it. Putting these items in misdirected mail usually means that you will see them again. It also means that those items have to be processed, have new labels ordered and applied, and re-sorted back into your box. Please save us all the trouble and throw unwanted mail away. Also if you do not want a deluge of junk mail, do not put your address on things like contest applications. Those addresses are sold.
4. HAWK requests:
This is the Maintenance request system. Learn how to fill these out. They are not hard. If it is an emergency - as in the toilet is overflowing and will not stop or there is some immediate pressing danger or hazard - then come down to the desk and I can call emergency maintenance. If you want to bunk your beds, get online and request it yourself. Be proactive.
5. Vending / Laundry Machines:
Come to the front desk and I will take your information. You will get your money back when the vending machine guys come and take the money and count the items. When there is more money than products sold, they understand and will turn the money over to the senior clerk. This is usually about two weeks after you tell me that the machine ate your dollar. Believe it or not, I do not carry cash. I cannot and will not pay you out of my pocket, especially if you are not a resident. If you are not a resident I will ask for some way to contact you. Please do not look at me like I do not know what I am doing. I DO NOT HAVE MONEY FOR YOU. Also if I give you my money, that means I will not have money for things I need. Be patient and generally you will be repaid (unless you are a student employee in which case kiss that money goodbye, just like any other vending machine).
6. IDs:
You will need your ID for most things in the dorm: packages, loaner keys, dolley and vacuum rentals, et cetera. Keep up with it. I do not care that you left it in your friend's car or on your dresser. If I do not see your ID physically in your hands, I cannot do much for you. Please do not whine about this; it is not my policy. If anyone says anything about this policy of the university being like Hitler's forcing the Jews to wear a star on their garments, it is quite likely I will jump over the desk and may have to be physically restrained from decapitating you and defecating down your exposed throat and trachea. Additionally you would have just lost the argument due to a major fallacy.
7. Cell phone usage and tvs:
Please refrain from starting a conversation on your phone while I am trying to assist you. It is rude to me and the other person because your attention is divided. Although it is against university policy I am considering ignoring anyone who treats me in such fashion until they put their infernal communication device down.
Also if you come to the desk to watch the television, please do not turn the volume up to blaring levels. If you cannot hear a door open and close behind you, it is probably too loud and damaging my hearing. Please realize that although I do not care if you wish to jeopardize your ability to hear, I cannot move away from the tv and in many cases cannot leave the desk to turn it down. Please turn off the tv when you are finished watching your program, or at least ask if you may leave it on.
8. Addendums
I am a student like you will be. I often work graveyard shifts and sometimes do not sleep for 24 hours. Please try to be polite and patient and I will do the same. Remember that I do have your spare keys, your packages, and other such items you may need or want; it behooves you to treat me nicely. Also the senior clerks, who are often in similar positions, can make your life go very smoothly or very poorly. Baked goods help in garnering a good relationship.
Try to behave in a civilized fashion and realize that you are not the center of anyone's universe here, but merely one of about 500-2000 students in this dorm, give or take a few.
Welcome to On-Campus Housing!
Signed,
One of the Desk assistants
(who is here at 3:30 am, because all the desks are required to be staffed 24 hours, 7 days a week)
