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18 Nov 2010 11:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenxyzcannonballLots of thinking lately. I have a few commission-ish projects I'm working on that need to get done, I'm way behind on NaNo for starters. Secondly besides work I haven't really made friends. I need to "get out there" I guess but it seems like I'm always scheduled for work when I could go and meet people. Like I went to one SCA meeting in october - since then, I had to work, then it was veterans' day (no meeting) and tonight I'm going to a movie. Next week will be thanksgiving (argh).
I don't get out much really since I have the apartment o' crap - like wall to wall crap almost. and I don't see it solving itself anytime soon. I've got to do something though it's getting on my nerves still having boxes and crap around. I was even considering trying to get back in touch with one of my exes even though he's usually the one I want to throw under a bus. Well I've been wronged due to my own stupidity worse now. Besides, I could use his knowledge of photography since some of my commission is making the items and then taking pictures. I'm probably just lonely and this is symptomatic of that. Also I'm trying to ignore that silly infatuation I have with a guy who I can't have and really shouldn't entertain the possibility even.
I reread some conversations I had about two years ago and I feel like I was really an ass though at the time I felt justified. I suppose that's progress, to realize that you can now recognize yourself being an ass? I'm still holding myself to my self-imposed stricture of "no dating til 2011". Considering how messed up I think I really am, that may change to "no dating until 24" in order to give myself an extra five months.
I have to find myself another job since the call center gig just lasts until Jan 1. I'm kinda stuck in my hometown so that's where I'll be looking. Or supposed to be looking anyway. I just want to create and be all arts-and-crafty but I haven't found a way to make that into a living yet. Maybe someday.
Oh and JET program application is in for 2011. Please think good thoughts for me!! I want this!
I don't get out much really since I have the apartment o' crap - like wall to wall crap almost. and I don't see it solving itself anytime soon. I've got to do something though it's getting on my nerves still having boxes and crap around. I was even considering trying to get back in touch with one of my exes even though he's usually the one I want to throw under a bus. Well I've been wronged due to my own stupidity worse now. Besides, I could use his knowledge of photography since some of my commission is making the items and then taking pictures. I'm probably just lonely and this is symptomatic of that. Also I'm trying to ignore that silly infatuation I have with a guy who I can't have and really shouldn't entertain the possibility even.
I reread some conversations I had about two years ago and I feel like I was really an ass though at the time I felt justified. I suppose that's progress, to realize that you can now recognize yourself being an ass? I'm still holding myself to my self-imposed stricture of "no dating til 2011". Considering how messed up I think I really am, that may change to "no dating until 24" in order to give myself an extra five months.
I have to find myself another job since the call center gig just lasts until Jan 1. I'm kinda stuck in my hometown so that's where I'll be looking. Or supposed to be looking anyway. I just want to create and be all arts-and-crafty but I haven't found a way to make that into a living yet. Maybe someday.
Oh and JET program application is in for 2011. Please think good thoughts for me!! I want this!
no subject
Date: 2010-11-26 11:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-28 02:16 am (UTC)